Her hip-to-waist ratio is insane. But mother of fuckin' Iggy Pop... not even a Chinese plastic surgeon could Ctrl+Alt+Del the Stalone from that face. Impressive body tho.... I dub thee '#1 girl I'd be sodomized in the dark by
Kennedy Kressler. I like her. I really do. But the girl's got the skin tone of a corpse and is built like a toothpick. This is essentially 1 cunt hair hair away from being stage-3 HIV porn. Guilty boner is guilty. More HERE + HERE
I've seen some pretty irreparable gashes in my day. But this? This is a bamboozling the likes of which you've never seen. Better call FEMA. or start charging the rates of a New York City parking garage. More of her HERE
Kinda refreshing to know the whole 'most ambitious crossover in history' thing isn't limited to the Marvel universe anymore. And what better way to prove that position than cosplaying as a Barnum and Bailey rape victim?
Pay close attention, and you'll notice these are paid pornstars blending in with real university students. HINT: 2 seconds of labia flashing sending Carlos Garcia and Co. off the fucking deep end kinda gives it away.
Sleaziest Blonde gets injected with enough farm-fresh penis pudding to short circuit Bill Cosby. Followed by a shit-eating grin across her face. Some seriously thrilling ways to lose your Fruit Loops in this one folks. I promise.
LIFE LESSON #237: If someone uses the word negotiable in their Craigslist ad - move the fuck on to the next one or prepare to doomsday prep on Valtrex & Clorox bleach. Discounts are temporary. War-torn genitals arent.
This is harder to see than Bill Cosby after a martini. So you need to pay attention... and if you figure out why a female decided the Volcano Bay indoor waterpark shithouse was the place to do this, holla atchya boi.
Spanked, groped & forced to eat bargain bin pizza toppings. If it wasn't for the pity squeeze, I'd wager this was gonna go from lolniceboner.mp4 to Last Known Video of Becky Stankalottapuss Alive pretty damn fast.
...to stop using the grocery store's dental aisle to reach her O-face. Shit lady, ever heard of Amazon? We'll go ahead donate the full $585.00 just to see you go 1 on 1 with this WOMB WRECKER and leave Colgate out of this war.
Before today there were two things I was totally certain of. 1) Florida is the unwashed crotch of the US of A. And 2) $37 doesn't get you anywhere in Buenos Aires. He proved me wrong once, but there will be no duplication.
Some 'feels' I am glad I'll never experience: Child birth, menstrual cramps, bamboo fingernail torture & an unwelcomed penis randomly kicking open the door to the house of pain. FULL VERSIONS HERE - 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
As fate would have it, handing out rusty tugboats to guys that consider bratwurst one of the elite food groups, isn't the high profile, second source of income she originally thought it out to be. Live, learn & sanitize, BECKY.
[tip: scroll to bottom of page for link] You know that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of a vagina from the rusty turntable? Well, her two costars just accidentally thrusted straight fucking through it. #diapers4life
Sneed's Feed and Seed houses 30 cows & more chickens than a French battalion. READ: Not a place to test your vaginal limits. But when you have 900 Patreons & a full bottle of penicillin, capacity isnt a concern. Its destiny.
Another incident where some introductory pornstar is left with a smoking O-ring because she failed to follow the #1 rule of dancing the B-hole Boogaloo: "Grease Keeps the Peace" member that, & you'll always be 'aight.
Refreshing to see tourism is still booming for our brothers below the equator. Now lets go ahead and get these gentleman under contract for the Ghostbusters reboot. I'm seeing 103 inches of Oscar winners here.
Gut instinct tells me that thing is about as real as Papa John's promise to not give you diarrhea. The penis large enough to need it's own pair of Air Jordans may be bogus, but the guy being virtually cucked by it isn't HAHA